Alone lonely loner..

I'm feeling outcast in my own house . I'm feeling like a stranger in my house . I'm feeling isolated in my own house . I can't even breathe in my own house . I forgot what is it like to be a really family .

I'm afraid , worried . tears keep running down for no reason . every time I'm home, i wish i wasn't . every time I'm home , i lock myself in the room . I'm scared to be out there . but it's a fear being inside here . it's like a nightmare which will never end . I feel alone . I am alone .

what am I supposed to do ? it's like I'm living in someone else life . it's like I don't know my family anymore . I don't even know who am I anymore . I feel like I'm not a part of this family . what changed ? what happened ? just make the tears stop . I'm tired . I can't be here . I don't wanna be here . it's hard .